Trina's Thoughts--From God's Heart to Mine

Favor in 2012

ksinift — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 15:09:27 +0000

Isaiah 61

The Year of the LORD’s Favor

¹ The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
   because the LORD has anointed me
   to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
   to proclaim freedom for the captives
   and release from darkness for the prisoners,
² to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
   and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
³ and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
   instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
   instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
   instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
   a planting of the LORD
   for the display of his splendor.

⁴ They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.

This is the passage of scripture and the theme that God gave me for this year. I want this to be the year that I finally let him heal my broken heart. I want it to be the year that I receive freedom from strongholds. I want beauty for the ashes of everything that has fallen apart or been spinning out of control. I want to hand over my spirit of despair and be clothed with a garment of praise for all that God has redeemed and made new in my life. I want to become an oak of righteousness able to brave whatever future weather or storms come my way. And perhaps more than anything, I long to see the restoration of a place dear to my heart, that has been long devastated. See, a year of God’s favor isn’t just about a year full of warm and fuzzy feelings and blessings. It’s going to take work. It’s going to take surrender. It’s going to take change. But the kind of favor this passage talks about is more than worth every bit of the challenge.

Fighting Back, Part 2

ksinift — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 14:58:46 +0000

Fighting back God’s way means standing up for myself, but not running away just because it’s hard. It’s hanging on to the faith that God has me in the place for a purpose, and praying and seeking out that purpose. It’s surrendering and being willing to endure so that I can touch another’s life.

Fighting back God’s way is making this place my Jericho and walking around it with my fellow prayer warriors. It’s gathering with a group of brothers and sisters in Christ at Starbucks and lifting each other and “our city” in prayer.

Fighting back God’s way is not letting Satan win. He tries to discourage me and bring in all kinds of ugliness and darkness, but when I fight back, I choose to be a light in the darkness and kick the enemy right out the door.

Fighting Back, Part 1

ksinift — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 15:22:57 +0000

I found myself asking God to let me fight back. I know I’m supposed to love my enemies and turn the other cheek and repay evil with blessing and all that, but I’ve spent too much of my life being a doormat and I refuse to be used again. “Let me fight back. Please let me fight back. This isn’t right. They need to learn a lesson.” Still, something didn’t seem right. I prayed, wondered, and searched. Where was the line between being a servant and standing up for myself so I didn’t become that doormat again? It finally began to dawn on me. God’s Word whispered in my soul. Yes, I’m supposed to fight back, but not in the way I wanted to. Not the way the world does. ”For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of this world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:3-5

Which Will We Choose Today?

ksinift — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 13:47:50 +0000

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42

When I was reading this yesterday, I saw something in it that I had never seen before. I think this story is the embodiment of Philippians 4:6: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Martha is the picture of the anxious one, who holds on to all her worries and tries to deal with them on her own. Because I’m sure when Jesus tells her that she is “worried and upset about many things,” He is not just referring to her current role as hostess, but to the way she lives in general. But Mary represents what it means to present our requests to God. She lets go of everything just to sit at His feet and listen. I wonder if she had shared her heart and her concerns at the beginning, and the point recorded in Scripture is her listening to His words of comfort and direction.

These Scriptures show us that there are two ways we can live our lives: We can run around like a crazy person, full of stress and anxiety like Martha did. Or we can have the constant peace that comes from living in the presence and sitting at the feet of Jesus, letting Him bear the weight of all that is too heavy for us to carry. Jesus, teach me how to sit at Your feet today.

My Life Motto, Part 2

ksinift — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 14:15:40 +0000

In my last blog post, I wrote about a passage in 1 Peter which talks about the suffering that Jesus put up with without saying a word or fighting back, because He “entrusted himself to him who judges justly.” I think people have sometimes interpreted passages like this to say that we should never fight back and we should endure whatever. But I’ve always been taught that being a Christian doesn’t mean being a doormat. And I believe that. Because when you look at this passage in context with other passages about Jesus’ suffering and death, you will see that he was definitely not a doormat. In John 10:18 Jesus says,“No one takes [my life] from me, but I lay it down of my own accord.” And when Jesus is on trial before Pilate, Jesus says, “You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above.” (John 19:11). They could not have laid a finger on Him if He didn’t allow them to. Within a matter of seconds, Jesus could have called on “more than 12 legions of angels” to come to His side. (Matthew 26:53). Yes, Jesus went through tremendous suffering. Yes, He was beaten and crucified unjustly. But it was only because He willingly gave His body and life for our salvation. And even though some tried, no one could touch Him until the time was right (John 8:59, 12:36). Jesus was not weak in the suffering He put up with. Instead, He showed incredible love and strength in enduring something He didn’t have to endure, just to save us.

So when it comes to us, we aren’t called to let people walk all over us or abuse us, but I believe we may be called at times to endure suffering for a greater purpose. We may end up in a difficult situation or place that seems unfair and we don’t understand why. But maybe there’s someone there that needs us. Maybe there’s a miracle God wants us to be part of. And like I said in a previous blog post, we are called into dark places because we have The Flashlight.

My New Life Motto

ksinift — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 03:33:34 +0000

“When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.” 1 Peter 2:23

I did a Bible study on 1 Peter this summer and every time I came across this verse, it stood out to me and I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind since. I want “entrust [myself] to Him who judges justly” to be my motto. If I could do that, I think I could let things go and forgive easier. Because sometimes I’m afraid to because I think it will mean acting like everything is ok and just shoving aside the hurt like it never happened and didn’t matter. But if I could entrust myself to God, I could let go of the hurt and choose to forgive and love because I know He will make everything right. He will deal with whatever needs to be dealt with. And if I entrusted myself to Him who judges justly, I wouldn’t care so much if I get everything I deserve or if I’m appreciated the way I should be. Colossians 3:23-24 says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” I just need to do what God has called me to do and be what He has called me to be and not worry about whether this world rewards me the way it should. If I entrust myself to God, I know He’s going to reward me big time in heaven, more than I could ever be rewarded in this life anyway! I spend so many moments being hurt and confused about things and am oblivious to the big smile on my Heavenly Father’s face and the words of encouragement He wants to whisper to me. And in the end, those things are all I really need.

To be continued….Part 2: “Entrusting Yourself” does not mean becoming a doormat.

Grandpa and Grandma’s House

ksinift — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 04:46:18 +0000

We just recently sold and cleaned out my grandparents’ house because they are at an assisted living place now. Being a very visual and sentimental person, those moments of helping pack up all their stuff and walking through the rooms of the house brought back memories going back as far as I can remember. Standing in the living room I was brought back to all the times when my siblings, cousins, and I turned it into a stage where we put on performance after performance for our parents in the form of all kinds of random skits and songs. It also became a restaurant at times when we brought out the play dish set and served our parents.

Then there’s the kitchen which always contained cookies offered to us every time we came over. My grandpa calls them “vitamins” which further convinces me of my theory that cookies at Grandpa and Grandma’s house are sugar-free, fat-free, and calorie-free. They just have to be.

My favorite thing about Grandpa and Grandma’s house had to be their huge backyard, which was the backdrop for what must have been hundreds of birthday parties and holiday gatherings. The covered patio. The swing which each of us used to fit in back in the day. And the grass area which was the best place in the world to hunt Easter eggs! This brings me to the memories of one of the spare bedrooms where we kids would all wait while our parents hid the eggs. I admit that we tried to peek out the window a time or two.

The house now belongs to someone else as of a week ago. It’s already so hard to drive by it and see a strange car in the driveway. But I know I’ll be revisiting that house many times in my memories, and as I sort through the boxes and boxes of family photos that I eagerly volunteered to organize. I can’t wait! I will enjoy every moment of it!

You Don’t Need a Flashlight in the Daytime

ksinift — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 03:34:26 +0000

“You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.“

Matthew 5:14-16

When trying to figure out why God has placed me in a very difficult, sometimes dark, place, He brought to my mind an image of a flashlight and this thought: “Sometimes God sends us into a dark place because we have a flashlight.” Maybe this place and these people need me to shine through the darkness and be the light of Jesus. I started thinking about how you don’t need a flashlight in places where it is light. That would be pointless. So why do we expect God to always place us in nice, pleasant places already full of light? No. He sends us into the dark where we can use our Flashlight. And the darker the place, the brighter our Flashlight can shine. So if I keep that purpose in mind, I think I can be more content and understand more why God has me in the place that I am. When asked why He spent His time with “sinners,” Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.” Matthew 9:12. We should follow His example.

Reader’s Digest Contest

ksinift — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 00:20:17 +0000

I”ve entered a story in a Reader’s Digest contest on Facebook. If you have a Facebook account, please vote for it. You will have to “Like” the Reader’s Digest page first. Thanks! Here’s the link:

http://apps.facebook.com/yourlifecontest/node/931

I Looked at the Waves Again…

ksinift — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 14:32:32 +0000

I feel like every time I start to get it right, every time I know where I’m headed, life hits hard again and I go into survival mode. I lose sight of who I am and where I am going. I find myself waiting for life to be normal, but deep inside, I know that will never really happen. Because life is life. And there is no such thing as normal. So how do I keep on track no matter what is going on? God reminded me of Hebrews 12:1-2: “…let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith…” If our focus is on Jesus, we will never go wrong. Everything else in our lives may be unstable, undependable, and always changing, but Jesus is our Rock. He never moves. So through all these trials, I need to never take my eyes off Him. He’ll keep me steady and going where I need to go no matter what is happening around me. It’s like when Jesus was walking on the water and called Peter to come out to Him. As long as Peter kept his eyes on Jesus, he was able to keep walking, but when he looked at the wind and waves around him, he began to sink. That’s what I’ve let myself do. I start looking at all the craziness that life is throwing at me and I feel like I’m sinking. I forget that if I keep my eyes on Jesus, I can be strong and thrive and keep walking even in the hardest moments of life. Jesus, please help me to remember this!